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[07 Dec 2006|08:05pm] |
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IM GOING TO LONDON!!! if anyone has any tips for me on where to go or what to see please let me know!:)
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[22 Jul 2006|04:29pm] |
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hi.. i know i haven't written in this forever.. i don't know if anyone even reads this.. but i read everyones thats on my list, but i just never update.. anyways i put up a new layout and i really like it.. so i thought i would just update.. my summer is pretty tame but i have to say my internship is going amazingly well at Baxter. Im pretty sure i can come back next year and hopefully if everything keeps going well I can have a job set by the time I graduate.. but i really haven't been hanging out w/ anyone.. it seems like everyone is in chicago and i have to go down there.. but its not really convinent.. but yea i can't wait to go back to school well not for classes but for my friends and our killer gym.. well more for the pool cuz if anyone knows me i dont work out lol..
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[13 Oct 2005|07:47pm] |
AHAHA YES!! i just finished my physics exame! and it wasnt too badd..
Edit: wow i need to study!! my next exame is at 11!
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[24 Sep 2005|01:48pm] |
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fine i got back w/ my ex.. matt.. he makes me happy, but apperntly raquib and nae have been hanging out alot.. and now aaron is w/ them and all that good stuff u no.. but its like i cant go over there becasue it it would be too weird.. and also kinda seems like one of my friends likes hanging out w/ him maybe more than me but whatttttttttteeeeeeevveeeeeeeeeeeeerrr..
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[23 Aug 2005|05:52pm] |
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okay, anywayz i made a new friend at school and she is nice, at first i didnt think she was a christian, but she is, which is fine. So she talks about how accurate the bible is.. historically acurate. but i ask her what she thinks about the geeta and says its just mythology. and i think when im free ill check. idunno it makes me feel down when someone thinks what i believe is not real.. i dunno i might be blowing it out of proportion
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[13 Aug 2005|01:16pm] |
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okay, i dont want to go back to school.. i am getting all nervous and insecure, serisouly what the fuck is wrong with me!? all the same anxieties are flooding back.. its kind of sickening.. im just scared that everyone will be super georgeous and hott and obsessed with their looks, leaving me friendless since the only thing im usually obsessed with is wearing pj's. also my fuckin book from ebay hasnt come and it would be pretty fuckin bad if i left for school with out it.. sorry i dont think im ready to go back to school.. AHHHHH okay im done.
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[30 Jul 2005|06:54pm] |
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wow.. i dont think i have updated this alot.. anywayz my sis is commin home today.. im glad to see her.. have been getting along pretty well with my parents even though i got pissed on friday or was it thursday.. some people really get under my skin and i shouldnt let them ahhh the more i think about it the less i think i want to go back to school.. to much stress.. i really dont want that.. shit three more weeks.. i think im having a change of heart and im gonna miss home like crazyyyyy.. my mom keeps asking me to transfer to perdue.. its three times as much as missouri.. so i dunno i think ill just wait till i finish this year and see how i feel.. oh i got new nikes they are ohh so cute .. pink and silver umm i need to go school shopping. parents keep asking me what i need adn i have no clue.. i have been sleepy alot lately i also went to the gym this morning.. it felt good after my two day break.. yea i really need to quit hating people.. i feel like i open up and they just bring me down.. i guess thats part of opening up.. u have to expect people to not give u the answer u want.. ohh i cleaned my bathroom today.. its soooo shiney and stuff... hmm i made a t-shirt this weekend and am working on a bracelet.. yea maybe i should have updated more through out the summer.. ohh yea arti i ready ur lj and let me tell u.. if the guy is reaaalllly good looking and really into u.. he is a sleeze and wants in ur pants! lol.. so u just get what u want from him and send him to the curb cuz he is probably the biggest asshole in the world..
k well this is all for now.. ohhhhh yea on t-shirt hell.com i saw a harry potter t-shirt and im am annoyed as fuck that i no who died.. i still will read it but im staring to hate the fuckin author cuz she is rich now and takes years to write a medioker book.. anywayz
CAN ANYONE RECOMMEND ME A GOOD BOOK.. NO SCI-FI OR MYSTERIES PLEASE.. OR ANYTHING THAT HAPPEND BEFORE 1900
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[26 May 2005|06:02pm] |
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ohh i hate trying to lose weight.. i gained a pound. maybe it was the two klondike bars i emotionally ate.. eh i say screw lookin at the scale.
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[25 May 2005|07:02pm] |
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okay. my mother is fuckin driving me nuts.. honestly she isnt that supportive in me trying to lose weight.. and i did lose a 3 pnds.. and its only a week and a half.. but I just ate a klondike bar because shes fuckin annyoing as hell! i cant stand her and i no its bad that i turned to food cuz it will never help me get away from my food attacment! i wish i had company cuz no one wants to go to the gym or walk around the lake..:( oh well..
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[20 May 2005|10:32pm] |
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wow.. do not read crow lake.. its a really shitty book.. GAHHGG there is nothing worse than reading a crappy book.. daniel i need to talk about the books thing with u.. ill call ya soon.. but call me if i didnt call u by next week! ive been busy being lazy and stuff that i havent even looked at the books.. yea so DONT READ CROW LAKE!
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[13 May 2005|12:37pm] |
well my roomate just left.. i love her, she is an amazing friend! im gonna miss her so much!! u no what i never realized how amazing my college experienec was.. ive been through alot of pain here. but im still alive and tickin! so hey i made it.. now going home.. yuck i love my parents but i no after two weeks its gonna blow.. and yea being single.. who knew there was still so much drama?? oh well life will be differnt and hopefully good at home..
wow.. im going home.. this dorm room was/ is my home.. and its sad im leaving.. im feeling all mushy right now:)
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[06 May 2005|10:16pm] |
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wow.. well im single now.. and i guess im not just used to it.. i mean wow it would be 11 months in 4 days
:( i guess we did what we could.. i mean i dunno did we do to much? or not enough.. I thought this was going to be easy.. but its not.. i still love him.. i guess if we are apart now.. maybe we will still have love in the fall.. maybe we can get past the transition.. maybe it could be understood that we need to change.. maybe we will still love each other.. enough to be together. this is my first serious break up.. and im confused and i have FINALS.. i think we should be friendss.. i cant just let go and ignore..
hope we will be togther..
i no you are going to read this.. i dont no what to do or how to feel..
i havent lost my feelings for you, and i dont want to, but with time things change, things fade but i hope this doesnt.. i hope three months is enough, even 6 months or nine month.. if it ends.. ill live i always have and maybe i always will:)
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[02 May 2005|10:44pm] |
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k well i dunno i guess this is for someone but its my thoughts and on livejournal i think its kinda me talking to myself while letting someone else hear.. well anywayz it just bothers me when i wait for someone and they go do something else.. fine u no.. but when im doing something they are at home and are too comfortable to come back and see me.. but its like oh do i make u that uncomfortable that u cannot leave.. i dunno ick.. but it just makes me feel like before.. i am the one waiting and it hurts my feelings because i was prepared to behave and be understanding abotu all the delays and it just turned out we didnt get together.. i feel botherd by having to hang out with someone by their scheduel.. like they can put me aside when i want to hang out.. i dnno deep down i want them to know waht its liek to be put aside to really be ready to see someone only to have it that they rather be comfortable at home.. i dont think this PERSON will understand untill they get the chance to feel exactly the same.. and i no that sounds venge full but i really was ready to have fun tonight.. only to have it ruined and just cuz i took five mins to return a video it became too late to see u.. i hate feeling like ohh if i didnt return something that was due that we could have been together.. but its not fair for me to live by ur scheduel if i want to see you..
thank you
im done now but i could have more good stuff lATerz
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[02 May 2005|08:35pm] |
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SHIT sometimes people can be soo obnoxious i mean dam they are so hard to get a hold of! hi, i want to return a video!?! or atleast i want to no if i should walk, but now hey i need to get someoones car anywayz ahh watever..
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[27 Apr 2005|01:25am] |
u know people say.. hey if you really love someone u can let them go, and they will come back if its ment to be?
i mean how true is that? if you love some one can u really let them go? and are and deal with it.. or take my heart out of it? i mean jeeze if anyone has an opinion that would be great! ANYONE.. are some people worth worrying about getting back.. i dont know how to feel.. its like ive made a relationship more serious than it was.. do i just swallow my pride or do i say eh watever and ignore it.. or just pull out my emotions.. maybe we shouldnt be exclusive if the person doesnt even care that much? i dunno..
relationships are hard.. and its not worth having if the other person is just not that into you??
oh and anyone reading this?? WOULD YOU WANT TO DATE SOMEONE WHO DIDNT FEEL LUCKY TO HAVE U?
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[20 Apr 2005|04:05pm] |
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sometimes people are so hard to deal with.. i wonder why i just dont kill them.. ohh yea thats illegal.. sometimes the crazy peoples mentality doesnt seem so bad.. i just want to hang out.. and now its turned into a big mess because i could keep my mouth shut
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[15 Apr 2005|11:36am] |
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i cannot wait for this fuckin school year to be over.. as of now im failing two classes.. this is beautiful.. i really want to try to get an B- in Calc.. i have a test on tuesday and a final worth 30% of my grade.. i better blow this shit out of the water.. life is good.. i still havent talked to anyone but im starting to realize that part of my porblem is my insecurites.. i actually wore a punjabi top around campus.. i was insecure at first and then i realized fuck what others think.. i got into this mess in the first place becusae i worry what others think of me and how im never going to be as hot or smart or tall or whatever the hell it is as them.. no ones perfect.. but it sucks that i try to be a perfect that is set by media and stereotypical standards.. also at school i think i sit in my room all day and waste time.. which i do but i have fun too.. after i get my pics developed ill post em.. well i feel bad for my professor.. he just keeps talking and no one is listening.. ha its okay he is really nice..anyone who reads this good at calc? just curious..oh i had really good sex yesterday! ha i bet noone cares but it was fun.. the key is to tell the guy what u want!!! oh i got my hair cut.. i thnk it looks gay but its hair and it grows back!
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[09 Apr 2005|01:46pm] |
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even though there are people around me.. i still feel lonley.. i really need to start feeling lucky for everything that i have.. but sometimes it hard.. i should start making a list of reasons why im lucky and i should feel good.. #1 my calc teacher is giving me another chance and i have to give it my all and prove to him that i deserve a good grade! 2- ill get an A in bio and Art appreciation.. 3.. many people cant even go to college.. 4 i have a nice roomate.. no one is perfect and i have to learn that!5 a good bf who tries his best to please me.. which is hard enough and he is trying to get his life together.. im gonna start yoga.. today
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[06 Apr 2005|11:39am] |
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wow i havent written in my own journal in so long.. wow.. i hate calculus once again.. its weird i really must suck at programming because i got an F with the curve.. that makes me feel pretty damn good.. NOT.. but i got an A on my bio test i didnt even study as hard.. or maybe i did.. i get lost with my capabilities and or my lack there of.. life can be so frustrating and now i am dealing with depression too.. i dont think i have ever been depressed since i came here.. isnt that pretty sad college made me go crazy jk..
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[29 Mar 2005|09:05pm] |
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG my suite mate is sooooooooooooo pathetic.. i really need to take a shower and that stupid ass girl needed to get ready all morinng becasuse its her birthday! omg in need to shower
im sorry its her birthday.. next time.. im gonna get in the bathroom first im gonna just take a shower in the morning... god she is sooo obssesd with her looks.. how patheic is she.. i really need to shower and she wont let me! what a spaz i could put a towel over the shower but she is such a priss that she wont even let me get in the damn shower! godddddddddd i dislike that bitch..
i think she has obsessive compulsive disorder!
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